DAY 3

The Oulaw Cinema Panel

From left, Thanks to Gravity's star/producer Gina Philips,
producer Amy Greenspun and writer/director Jessica Kavana.

I'm trying to see how many days in a row
I can get a picture of Dennis Hopper.

THE WORLD’S MOST BORING?

CineVegas is advertised this year as “the world’s most dangerous film festival.” I’m starting to beg to differ. I did not have a good day of movie watching as I saw three horrible boring films. I actually almost fell asleep during one. The only danger here is the possibility the audience is bored to death. The three films in question are Eva Aridjis’ “The Favor,” Abel Ferra’s “Mary” and the Las Vegas sex industry documentary “Skin City.” I’ll attack all three individually starting with the sleeper film.

I truthfully have never been as bored watching a film as I was trying to sit through “Mary.” Going in I figured, it’s Abel Ferra, it’s probably pretty good. The guy made the violent oversexed films “Bad Lieutenant” and “Ms. 45” and here he is doing a movie about Jesus, so it’s probably a bit controversial. It has Heather Graham and you can’t ever go wrong sticking “Rollergirl” in your film. Well, I was “dangerously” wrong. This reminded me of the time I saw the Jack Lemmon/Sissy Spacek movie “Missing.” I must have been eight at the time that movie came out in 1982. I don’t know why the hell we went to see it or who let me out of the house at eight with a neighbor down the street to see a film. Any film. But I saw it and it was painfully boring because I had no idea what was going on. During the screening of “Mary” I was reminded of that movie-going experience. The difference is “Missing” was over-my-head material. Of course an eight-year-old would be bored watching a movie like that! “Mary” on the other hand doesn’t have that excuse. I felt like I was watching the church channel half the time and the other half I felt like I was watching a bad Saturday Night Live sketch spoofing on Mel Gibson and “Passion of the Christ.” And maybe I went in with high expectations because I had just seen Ferra talk at the Outlaw Cinema Panel with Bobcat Goldwait and Gregg Araki. I’ll get to details on the panel shortly. Anyway, Ferra mentioned battles with the MPAA and really hyped himself up as being a true outsider of Hollywood that does whatever the hell he wants. That may very well be the case, but generally when you think working outside the system of studios, you also think heavy violence, heavy nudity, taboos and unique visions. This had none of that and played like a made-for T.V. Sunday night movie. To top it off “Rollergirl” was extremely underused.

The next “dangerous” film got an introduction from its writer and narrator Jack Sheehan. He said “Skin City” is a three year film in progress and that we would be seeing a rough cut that was edited in five weeks. He joked that he originally was going to explore the naughty side of Vegas for six months, but that turned into a lot longer because when you are interviewing naked people, you have to talk to them over and over again. Then the film starts and Sheehan’s narration, which is not just him talking over images, but him actually mugging for the camera in front of a blank screen, promises we will be shocked at what we see and that Las Vegas is heading straight to hell because of our city’s sexuality. Maybe it is just me, but you can’t say that and call your film “Skin City” and not show the audience a damn thing!!! We get a total of one bare nipple and one bare ass. That is as “dangerous” and “shocking” the images go here. It took you three years to film one lousy breast shot? But it’s not just that. There’s nothing reveling at all in this documentary and there is hardly anything entertaining. One cop explains how when they took a black light into the Crazy Horse Too to bust up a prostitution ring, there was “DNA” every where. Another says 5,016 women were busted last year for prostitution. Jenna Jamison takes credit for single-handedly mainstreaming the porn industry. And Mary Carey talks of having regrets of ever doing porn because she now fears she will never have a family because no average Joe with a day job would want to marry a porn star and make her his baby’s momma. But that’s about it. Otherwise, this film plays like a brain washing propaganda film for third graders. If any audiences members bought into it, they probably left the theater saying, “Las Vegas is wonderful. It is a family town. Vegas loves mentally and physically handicapped people.” Yes, to show how great our city is, Sheehan visits the Opportunity Village which hires people that usually would not be able to get jobs. Yes, this is a good thing. But if you bring that up, which I still can’t figure out what that has to do with Vegas living up to it’s slogan and nickname, you might want to mention how we have a little homeless problem that no one seems to care about. The other brain washed messages you should be repeating after seeing the film are, “Prostitution bad. Porn bad. Strippers, not so bad because they don’t drink or do drugs.” Yeah, they talked to three strippers who say they do not drink or do drugs, that’s the in depth interviewing done among the thousands of girls that take their clothes off here nightly. They also talked to one prostitute, a seemingly gay male stripper that was lying through his teeth about having sex with sisters and mom and daughters at the same time for money and a former porn star that now is anti the adult industry. She practically sheds tears in explaining that porn is like a magic show and the women aren’t really enjoying the sexual encounters. Gee. Shocking! Movies aren’t real? Not even pornos? Next she might as well tell me porn stars get plastic surgery or that Hollywood actresses use body doubles. Look, here is the deal. Las Vegas is filled with filth. We are a city built on greed. Sex and money keep this place alive. If you don’t like it, don’t come here and sure as hell don’t move here. But who the hell doesn’t like sex and money? It doesn’t matter where you go, each and every town swears they are not near as bad as the perceived image outsiders have. What I have to say on that is there is usually some sort of truth to the perception. In my opinion, Vegas should legalize prostitution. Are the police really serving and protecting by arresting thousands of women for prostitution? I’m not so sure anyone ever got bars put on their windows because they feared a prostitute might break in. I don’t think car alarms are installed to ward off the hookers either.

What a disappointment this film was. I actually was so fed up after seeing “Skin City” I opted not to stay and see “Running Stumbled,” which many are picking as a festival favorite. Instead, I went home. I had enough bad cinema for one day. Or so I thought. That is until I popped in the DVD screener for “The Favor.” It’s not near as bad as “Mary” or “Skin City,” but it is filled with many flaws and moves at a snails pace. There is some decent acting in it, but the script should have got tossed in the trash.

BOBCAT'S OULAW PANEL

Ok, so now that I have alienated myself from getting an invite back to the festival next year, I’ll tell you about the positive. The Outlaw Panel was fun, but not as good as I had hoped it would be. Don’t get me wrong, Bobcat was pretty funny. I just think it wasn’t as educational as I wished it would have been. I think going to the Screenwriting Expo in Los Angeles and hearing such good guest speakers has spoiled me and left me expecting a lot more than the panel delivered. The panel should have been stronger to begin with. Gregg Araki is an excellent choice and I can see why Bobcat, who constantly made “pow-pow” sound effects while making gun hand gestures all the while decked out in a cowboy hat with a mustache Sharpied on, was on it and Abel Ferrara too. But I have no clue who James Fotopouluos or Nina Menkes are. Both even admitted no one has seen most of their films. Neither even has a film on DVD. Which led me to ask when they opened the floor to questions have they ever considered self distribution. To me self distribution is the way to go these days. If you can scrape up the funds some how to film the movie, scrap up the money to get DVDs pressed and sell it to Netflix and get it selling on Amazon.com. No one, but Bobcat responded and he said basically he thought that’s where his last movie was headed before it got picked up. Going back to the filmmakers on the panel, wouldn’t Larry Clark, Rob Zombie, Todd Solondz, Vincent Gallo and even Eric Stanze or Christian Viel, be huge additions?

Anyway, here are some Bobcat Goldthwait highlights from their discussion:

On being an outlaw filmmaker - BG: I wish the movies I made were really commercial and I wish that people liked them more. But the likelihood of a dog blow job movie taking the piss out of “X-Men” isn’t really going to happen soon. You don’t make a movie and go, “Man, I hope this only plays in art houses and no one fucking sees it.’” Boy oh boy. I hope I have to explain, “Well, yeah, it came out a while ago. You can get it on DVD. You know what? I have a screener copy.”

On shooting “Stay” - BG: We shot most of it at my friend Marty’s house. We were supposed to shoot a scene in a garage and the guy flaked. I go, ‘”Marty what’s that deal across the street there?” He goes, “They just sold the house.” I go, “Is anyone living in it now?” He says, “No,” and then he said “No” again. On a public level, I’m not going to say I broke the lock off. But the lock was broken off at some point. The crew… I had gotten most of them from Craig’s List. They were in college. I told them, “If the cops come just tell them it’s a student film,” and one kid goes, “We are students.” I go, ‘How old are you?’ He goes, “I’m 21.” I said, “You fucking told me you were 27.” He goes, “Would you have hired me?” I go, “Alright.” So we are in the garage and I say to the kids, “Listen we got to be really quite. We can’t be goofing around this is a really heavy scene for the actors.” One of the kids goes, “You don’t have permits again?” And I go, “Dude, I don’t know whose fucking house this is.” Oddly enough, it is actually a big scene in the movie. It’s about seven minutes long. I guess my ego is big enough, I actually took a Sharpie, obviously I like Sharpies, and I climbed up in the garage and wrote, “We shot ‘Stay’ here.”

BG: When I was making the movie, this woman had gotten a hold of the script. She was a neighbor of another home we weren’t filming legally at. I think she was a disgruntled writer herself and I’m in the middle of filming… She goes, “Can I talk to you for a minute?” And I go, “Yeah.” Knowing that I didn’t have time, but if I told her fuck off I wouldn’t be filming. She goes, “This is the most disgusting thing I have ever read in my life.” And I go, “Well.” And she goes, “There’s no reason to bring this movie into the world.” I’m trying to be mellow and work past old Bob behavior and I go, “Well, that’s your opinion.” And then she says, “You know what? You are just doing your job. You didn’t write it.” And my friend Morton goes, “No, he wrote it too.” I just started laughing in her face at this point and went back to work. Forty-five minutes later the humane society was there. And they go, “What’s this scene going on here with the dog?” And I go, “Well, they go on vacation and they leave the dog here. In this scene the dog is this and that.” And she goes, “Really, I hear a dog gets a blow job in this movie?” And I said to my producer, “Marty you need to speak to this lady.” And then I want on filming. She read the script and everything is implied. It’s done very tastefully. She says, “In this scene where she is Frenching the dog, if the dog licks her that’s fine. But if she licks the dog back, that’s bestiality and I’m going to have you both arrested. Can I see dailies.” And I go, “Oh geeze, it’s at the lab.” We could have actually just rewound it and saw the controversial French kiss. Eventually, the humane society signed off and at the end of the movie it says, “No animals were injured or pleasured in the movie.”

On being protested for his portrayal of an alcoholic clown - BG: When I made “Shakes the Clown” I ended up having clowns protesting the movie. And I was really happy because I knew it would help promote it, so I just kept agitating it. I actually heard from Bozo. I go, “You should be glad you aren’t waving outside a car wash, Bozo.” And he got all mad and started doing interviews and ended up Johnny Carson was talking about it because I would intentionally piss off clowns. I did the “Today Show” and I’m in the dressing room before I go on and I didn’t know a clown was going to debate me on the program. The producer goes, “A clown is going to debate you.” And I did say this. I go, “I’m familiar with Katie’s work.” So I’m in the dressing room with a guy in a clown suit at seven thirty in the morning and I’m just trying to talk to him. I go, “What’s your name?” He goes, “I’m Bamboozle.” And I go, “No, dude what’s your real name?” He’s like, “I’m in my clown attire, so please call me by my clown name.” I go, “Ok. Look I’m in my sarcastic dickhead attire now,” so I go “Buddy, it doesn’t matter what we call each other, I’m going to rip you a new asshole.” He goes, “Why?” I go, “It’s not real. I just want you to help promote my movie. It’s wrestling.” So we get out on the air and the clown’s like, “Clowns do a lot of good causes. Bobcat’s film portrays us in a negative light.” I go, “Nobody thinks you’re funny. The reason you perform at hospitals is that’s the only place a kid can’t get up and run away from you.” Katie Curic goes, “Would you please be serious?” And I said, “No. You are interviewing me and a clown. What you lose a bet this morning.” I’m very happy because recently when Katie retired she said I was her worst interview. It made me feel really good. My dad calls me, “What did you do to Katie Curic?”

On selling out – BG: I’m directing “Poopiepants” starring Rob Scheinder and Ryan Reynolds. I’m very excited. No, I say “I like being an individual making my own movies that I would like to watch.” I’d fucking sell out in a heart beat and make “Easter Dad” next year or something with the dad that finds the true meaning of Easter by becoming the Easter bunny. I’ve already sold out. I’ve been in so much crap.

On future projects - BG: I’ve always wanted to do Christ as a teenager. You know, do “Teen Jesus.” I always mention that would be based on a true story. You have Jesus in his angst ridden teen years. Him and Joseph, “You’re not my real dad.”

GREGG ARAKI

Gregg Araki, and the rest of the panel for that matter, didn’t contribute that much. Bobcat basically stole the show as you can see. I actually tried to lineup an interview with Gregg Araki before the festival, but never heard anything. He and Christina Ricci were they only two I was interested in speaking with. Ricci's people got back with a big no at rapid speed. I never heard anything from Gregg’s people, but I was able to grab him for a few quick questions after the panel discussion. The rushed chat wasn't what I hade in mind, but I was still happy to get to talk to him. Here’s how that went:

CCF: First off, I’m a huge fan of “Mysterious Skin” and I read before that you had said a lot of people come up to you and thank you for making that movie. Could you tell me a bit about what that means to you as a filmmaker?

GA: Really, that’s why I made that film. When I read the book it was just so truthful and such a powerful story. Nothing like that had ever happened to me. But it really moved me and had a deep impact. That’s why I made it. I knew it was a real powerful story. It’s gratifying that it really touched a lot of people. That’s why you make movies.

CCF: When you had that movie completed, you obviously knew you had something special. Is it really frustrating when people misinterpret it and it’s not able to reach mainstream audiences?

GA: I’m used to it. My work has always been very controversial. People either love it or hate it, get it or don’t get it. It’s really nice when people come up to me that do really get it and they really understand the films. That’s really wonderful. The people that don’t get it, it’s unfortunate, but you can’t do anything about that. It’s not something I worry about. I get really gratified by the people that get it.

CCF: Like I asked during the panel, with the access the internet offers, do you ever consider self distribution?

GA: I don’t really know enough about the technology and as far as like internet streaming films to me that’s like not really seeing the movie. It’s not a cinematic experience. I’ve sort of wrapped my head around DVD and everyone seeing the movies on the screen. So many people see my movies like “Mysterious Skin” on DVD. I know that ninety percent of my audiences is seeing my stuff that way so I really try to put a lot of effort into them. I don’t really know enough about how the technology works, but the clips I have seen online like little clips and stuff, it’s not cool to see it on such a tiny screen. That’s not cinema. I don’t want to watch something on an Ipod. I want to see it on a bigger screen and that is what is so cool about festivals. You can get you film to wider audiences.

CCF: What about as far as distributing on DVD through the internet?

GA: I think it would probably be cool. You would probably make more money. But for me, it would be like a job. You only have so much time in the day and you don’t want to spread yourself too thin. So with me, it’s like, I don’t want to be a distributor. I don’t want to run a company and sell DVDs. I’d just rather try to do as much creative stuff as possible.

CCF: Your early stuff that hasn’t made it’s way to DVD, will it ever be released?

GA: Hopefully one day. There’s license problems with a lot of it because of the music. But hopefully…

CCF: Ok. Well, thanks for talking with me. And like I said before, I love “Mysterious Skin.” It’s one of the best movies I’ve seen in years. Actually, on my website I give out my awards called the Pollies and “Mysterious Skin” won best picture.

GA: Yes! (Pumps fists) I’ll have to remember the Pollies.

CCF: It was nice to meet you.

GA: Yeah, good to meet you.

Araki is currently editing his next project “Smiley Face.” Written by Dylan Haggerty, the film stars Anna Faris.

- CCF, June 12

(Day 4 - Cick here)