COOLEST LOOKING MOVIE - 2007 POLISHED APPLE AWARDS

“PERVERT!” (2005)

Starring: Mary Carey, Sean Andrews, Darrell Sandeen, Juliette Clarke, Sally Jean, Jonathan Yudis, Tula, Candice Hussain, Aurelie Sanchez and William Yudis
Written by Mike Davis
Directed by Jonathan Yudis
Official Website
Stag Films
Infinite Entertainment

Polly Staffle Rating: ****

Director Jonathan Yudis and writer Mike Davis say they are on a mission. The 34-year-olds want to disgust you. They want to shock you. They want to arouse you. They want to freak you out. Most of all, they want to bring back the fun of the grind house yesteryears with new outrageous films and have you experience them in a dark movie theater packed with complete strangers at the stroke of midnight. Their belief is that entertainment has become too portable and sanitary in our society. No longer is there a communal movie-going experience. Yudis and Davis hope to take us back to those days. With that in mind, “Pervert!” can be seen as the duo’s battle cry.

Take the entire Something Weird Video catalog, cross it with John Waters and you get the sleaze fest riot “Pervert!” I’m talking boobs, boobs and more boobs. There’s also shock humor, outrageous scene after outrageous scene, gore and even more boobs. This is like the “Benny Hill Show” with topless women. It’s like “Attack of the Killer Tomatoes,” only it’s funny. It’s like “Pink Flamingos” without making you sick to your stomach. It’s like the Herschell Gordon Lewis film “She Devils on Wheels” with just enough blood to make gore hounds happy. “Pervert!” has the magic Troma Video wishes it had. It does for big-breasted sexploitation sleaze and nudie cuties what Rob Zombie did for 70’s horror in “House of a 1,000 Corpses” and what Quentin Tarantino did for martial arts films of that same era with “Kill Bill.”

Written by Davis, directed by Yudis and produced by them both, “Pervert!” is the stuff every 60’s and 70’s exploitation fan in the world has been waiting for. Dedicated as an ode to Russ Meyer, the duo says they only used his work as a starting point with the intention of creating their own original vision. Specific scenes pay homage to the Meyer films “Cherry, Harry & Raquel” and “Supervixens,” but for the most part their goal was to try and capture the spirit of his films. They wanted something wacky and weird – an almost parallel universe filled with busty women where absolutely nothing is taken serious and nothing is sacred - all on a Roger Corman budget. I personally have never seen any of Meyer’s films, but was blown away by “Pervert!” It’s funny, sexy and also made so damn well it would make Orson Welles proud. There’s no poor production holding it back or causing unintentional humor like a Doris Wishman movie. Maybe if all smut was this good there would be no censorship. Filmed at the same desert ranch Meyer shot “Faster Pussycat, Kill! Kill!” and starring former California governor candidate Mary Carey, “Pervert!” delivers from start to finish.

The film opens with a warning telling men who already have erections to leave the theater and cautions there will be “big boobs, blood, sex and a snake.” The credits then roll as various images of thong-wearing topless women, including one made up as the Statue of Liberty, one running with a giant American flag and another jumping on a trampoline with pompoms, flash before our eyes as the words “sex” “death” and “freedom” makes the patriot in us all swell with pride. We are then introduced to James. Played by Sean Andrews, James picks up a slutty hitchhiker en route to his estranged father’s desert ranch. Meanwhile, we are introduced to the father Hezekiah (Darrell Sandeen). Hezekiah appears to be in his mid 70s and is spanking his current young twenty-something girlfriend, Cheryl (Mary Carey). We are treated to a slow-motion shot of Carey’s jiggling bootylicious backside and then action cuts back to James on the road. The hitchhiker in his car shortly becomes offended by James due to a rather large collection of pornographic paraphernalia in his glove box and tells him to stop the car and let her out. He does and she states she would rather catch a ride with a serial killer than a pervert. It’s probably at this point, a full five minutes into the film, you have either fallen in love with this soon to be classic or realize you despise it with every church-going bone in your body.

Best of all, the fun has just begun. There are hilarious dialogue lines like, “You wouldn’t know a real woman if one gave you a hand job in the back of an ice cream truck” or “No more going home alone and pathetically masturbating in a dark corner with plastic wrap and a can of WD-40.” There’s also a hip-hop loving gay redneck Nazi auto mechanic played by Yudis, an animated detachable sex organ and artwork made of raw meat. Did I mention Carey pouring honey on her 36DD breasts or the hilarious outdoor bathing scene that has her soaping down as father and son try to eat breakfast and talk? Oh, well that’s in here as well. There’s also a voodoo spell that is as much a blessing as it is a curse and a crazed horny serial killer that could be James, his dad or perhaps a jealous female. Yudis and Davis describe their film as a “morality play without morals” and a “cautionary tale lacking caution yet abundant in tail.”

“To me, the perfect reaction to this movie would be shock, followed by laughter, followed by outrage, followed by titillation, followed by guilt,” Davis said. “I’d love to see a guy charging out of the theater with an enormous hard-on, furious at the fact he’d got one. Even better if he complains to the manager.”

Personally, I don’t think anyone that sits down to watch this will have any complaints. It’s kind of hard to stumble upon it not knowing what you are getting into with a name like “Pervert!” The downfall is there may be a number of people who would possibly like it that might not give it a fair chance. Trust me - this isn’t your average b-movie with bimbos. It looks and sounds fantastic. Originally estimated to cost $50,000, “Pervert!” was shot on film and used a full professional cast and crew. It went over budget many times through the 14 days of filming and post production. What ever the final figure was, it was well worth the money. Top to bottom, I was impressed. The cinematography by Guy Livneh and the editing by Michael T. “Fitz” Fitzgerald really can’t be beat by anyone in Hollywood. Just about every frame of the film seems intentionally a bit off-kilter, which works well with the overall tone and theme. We are also treated to rapid cut transitions featuring naked women in between scenes adding to the films cartoonish atmosphere. There’s also a groovy soundtrack throughout working overtime to keep the film’s exploitation vibe going. The direction of Yudis, who says their goal was to make a film “technically proficient, but legitimately funny,” ties it all together in a nice bubbly bouncing package.

The cast is also very strong. I was extremely impressed with Carey. An adult contract performer with Legend Video, Carey had done 60 pornographic films before this. Davis said they were looking for a big breasted superstar and Carey was the first person they approached. Despite a platform that included the legalization of gay marriage, taxation of breast implants and the recruitment of porn stars as goodwill ambassadors, Carey finished 10th among the 133 candidates in the 2003 California governor recall election and was looking to try something different.

Sandeen and Andrews are solid in the film as well. This was Andrews’ first lead role, having only been in “Scarecrow Gone Wild,” but you could swear you’ve seen him before on some television show like “Smallville” or “Lost.” He holds his own surprisingly well playing a girlfriend-stealing son when he could easily be overshadowed by the nudity, gore and his character’s scene-stealing father. The crazy oversexed geezer Hezekiah played by Sandeen gives Sid Haig’s Captain Spaulding a run for his money. So much so, I wonder why Sandeen, who had roles in the comedic classics “They Call Me Bruce” and “Blazing Saddles” hasn’t been in more films through the years.As far as the rest of the cast, Juliette Clarke, Sally Jean, Candice Hussain, Aurelie Sanchez and Tula are all here to basically titillate. They do. Davis said he read Meyer recruited his actresses in strip clubs, so he and Yudis tried that approach, but they learned fast that the bump-and-grind lap dance strippers of today just doesn’t have the dramatic flare burlesque dancers had. So despite their efforts, everyone went through the regular audition process. But Davis said they made sure everyone knew what they were getting into.

“We didn’t want to be sleazy scumbags and trick anybody about it,” Davis said. “We were very up front about the movie and what they would be expected to do. So we ended up with a group of people who had no problem with the material, knew it was all in fun and were pretty much up for anything.”

Hanging out with all these lovely naked ladies doing outrageous things day in day out probably seemed like one long party, right? Guess again. Davis said it was a very professional shoot and the conditions of filming were rough. The final product probably looks like they had more fun making it then they actually did.

“The most insane moment for me involved the meat sculptures,” Davis said. “I was in charge of removing them after they’d been sitting in the 120-degree sun for three days. They were completely rotted and covered in maggots and I had to put them in my car and find somewhere in town to discreetly dispose of them. It was more horrific than any horror movie. I should have filmed it and released it as a separate feature. That would really be Roger Corman style.”

I’m anxious to see what these guys come up with next. Hopefully this is the first of many productions from Stag Films and Infinite Entertainment. Davis hopes to create a series of low budget comedies with lots of sex and violence in the same vein of this film, exploring different genres and styles. A biker gang horror movie is supposedly in the works.

Hopefully there is a role for Carey. If not, I’ll be on the lookout for her next project as well. She actually stole the show in my book and definitely had one of the film’s best moments. There is a hilarious scene with Carey simulating oral sex at the dinner table with buttery corn on the cob. The scene brought a smile to my face, but that may be partially because it made me think of rapper Too Short’s boasting in the song “Cuss Words” what he claims first lady Nancy Reagan did to him once. No, it was probably seeing the busty Mariah Carey look alike - only hotter - do such an embarrassingly funny act. Perhaps, I’m just a big fan of corn. Nah, the only Korn I like is a band. I’m probably just a “Pervert!”

PERVERTED FILMS

Recommended movies from Mike Davis (besides every Russ Meyer film):

“The Big Snatch” (1970) – “A sicko kidnaps four women and forces them to become his sex slaves. Takes place on a ranch and has cool music. Awful filmmaking.”

“Reflections of Evil” (2002) – “Damon Packard’s modern cult masterpiece, made for nothing and distributed by passing out free DVDs to everyone in Los Angeles. No
direct connection, but as inspiring as it is bizarre.”

“Bubba Ho-Tep” (2003) – “Great vibe, intentionally funny without being too ‘wink, wink, aren’t we funny?’ Also good for the scuttling, hidden creatures.”

“Basket Case” (1981) - “An outcast carries around a picnic basket that contains something that kills people. Good suspense - what’s in the basket?”

“Squirm” (1976) - “Normal guy goes to small town and has to deal with weird hicks and killer worms. Good tone and vibe and the worms are great.”

“Bloodsucking Freaks” (1974) – “A cult classic, and it happens to have a dick in it (at the very end).”

- CCF, May 2006